Growth

Over these past months i have learned alot about life, relationships (with friends, a girlfriend, and God), and about Christianity. One thing that i am learning is that no matter what you never stop growing. You are either growing closer or farther away from someone or something. You are always growing spirtually weather you realize it or not. You are always growing physically. You are always growing in your knowledge. No matter what you are growing in something. 

The reason why i started to think about growth, and i why i wanted to write something about it is because of something my good friend Bryan Oakley said. 

Bryan said:  "The more we grow to be like Christ, the more we realize that we are sinful, and dirty"  

That was such a crazy realization for me. I guess i kind of realized it a while back but for someone to actually verbalize it and say it to me hit me pretty hard. It it so crazy that the more and more i get closer to Christ, and the more i become like him the more i realize that i am so underserving of this reliegion, or that i am not even worthy to be his servent. It is really hard sometimes because i am constantly judgeing myself and looking at myself and saying that i am so bad. The beautiful thing about it is that God has had grace on me so i can be his servent and i can follow after him. 

Parts of me at time get really annoyed with how dirty and sinful i am. I hurt  people i dont want to hurt. I say things i dont want to say. I do things i dont want to do. I let that awful sin creep out of me and affect the people i care about and love. The more i strive to be better it seems the more i have to work on. Not one day have i gotten up and said it is easy to follow christ today. I guess part of that is because i keep becoming more like him so i keep seeing more and more wrong with me. 

While part of me gets really annoyed there is another part that absolutely loves it. I get to face a challange everyday. I get to try to defeat the devil in some way every day. Do i fail? Of course, i fail all the time. But do i win? Yes i do sometimes, and its those moments that make the challanges worth it. Yes the times of failure greatly out weigh the times of victory. But the times of victory or so much more sweeter than the sorrow that comes with defeate. 

Will i wake up tomorrow and realize there is something else that is wrong with me, and that there is another part of me that needs to be purned? Of course there will be. But i welcome that challange gladly. God has challanged me so much and i have grown so much because of it. 

Thanks for all who read this i dont know if it has as many followers as it did before but if you still read i appreciate it.